In April of 2017 I was at youth pastor school in Redding CA. I was at this place in my life of confusion and I didn’t know who I was or why I was created. I was broken and lost, I felt hopeless. During a time of worship the worship team led us in the song Great Are You Lord.
During this song I had a powerful encounter with Jesus. As I was on my knees in the middle of Bethel Church, I felt like He took me to a different location.
All of the sudden I was at a beach kneeling down worshiping in the sand. I could hear someone approaching me, but I was so lost in worship I didn’t even look up. I finally opened my eyes and saw feet. Without looking up I knew it was Jesus, I could feel His presence. He kept telling me to look up at Him, but I didn’t feel worthy, I just wanted to worship Him at His feet. He kept saying to look up at Him and to look at His eyes, but I could not do it. I did not know who I was and I didn’t want to look at Him like that. All I could do was look at my tears falling down onto His feet, I could not look up at Him like this.
He finally reached for my chin and gently raised my head to meet His gaze. I closed my eyes though and still would not look at Him. I didn’t feel good enough, I just wanted to worship Him. His presence was so comforting and sweet, I was fine with just keeping my eyes closed and being near Him. He finally got me to open my eyes and look at Him, face to face.
All my doubt went away, and all the confusion left. What I felt was peace and a sense of purpose, nothing else mattered. I was looking into the beautiful eyes of my savior, Jesus. I didn’t want that moment to end. When I was lost He picked me up, He turned my gaze to heaven, to Him. As I was staring into His eyes He told me who I was. He told me why I was created.
He told me I was created to raise up a generation of worshipers.
Weeks after this I kept feeling like He wanted me to write a song about Jesus. But I didn’t know what to do. He showed me a picture of a woman at His feet. I figured it was Mary and could never get anywhere with the lyrics. But He revealed to me that I was the women at His feet, and He took me back to the encounter I had with Him.
I had never written a worship song before and I did not really know what I was doing. Regardless, I continued to have this stirring on my heart to write. When I was younger I would write songs, but they were not focused on Him. He begun to give me lyrics and speak to me so vividly about this song. In my head I thought it was going to be a special song, just between the two of us. I had been wanting to write a song for Jesus that only He would hear.
It came to a point where I was no longer hearing Him when it came to this song, so I asked Him why. He told me that it was never meant to be just for me, and that if I was going to keep it to myself I would have to write it by myself. I apologized to Him and told Him that I will do whatever He wants. He told me that this song was birthed out of an encounter and that He wanted that encounter to be released to others through this song. I felt like He was telling me that it will carry an anointing that will reveal the beauty of Jesus and draw people into a deeper relationship with Him. Every time I hear this song, that is my biggest prayer, that people will draw closer to Him. The cry of my heart is that people would fall in love with Him, or fall more in love with Him.
God has placed some amazingly talented people in my life who helped me bring life to what He was speaking to me. My husband, Chase, and my friend Steve, the worship pastor at our church, helped me in so many ways with this song. God showed me how important it is to not only work with Him and seek Him about our calling, but also how important community is to move forward in what He has destined us to do. We need Him, but we also need His sons and daughters to take things to the next level. He created us for relationship and we all have something valuable to give.